We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you inspire me to be a worse person
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog