My cat gives me a boner
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.