I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.