what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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