I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
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this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
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She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
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