At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
even my farts smell like vagina
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
