And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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