oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
