Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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