dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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