Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
