it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
