found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
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Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
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We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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