I feel great
I just peed on a car
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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