Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We're using joints as your birthday candles
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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