I used to practice getting hit by cars.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
