oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
