Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
