The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
