Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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