Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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