How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
