i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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