Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
