it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
