I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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