just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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