In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own