Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina