Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
