At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.