everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize