i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize