how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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