I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Less talking, more tequila
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
