He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
