Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
