plz talk dirty to me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
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