when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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