All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
