did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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