i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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