You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
