just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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