He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
time to smoke my breakfast
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize