So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize