Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.