Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
