i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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