Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
