So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
