U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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