she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
