im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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