is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
