Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
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Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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