i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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