She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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